Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
Sex Therapy
What is sex therapy?
Sex Therapy is not simply a solution to a problem—whether the focus is personal,romantic, financial, sex-focused, or otherwise. And with specific respect to sex therapy, in particular, it's important to know that the benefit extends to folks far beyond just those who are on the brink of breakup and are in dire need of professional help. Rather, just like seeking general therapy on a regular basis can help people live their most authentic life, sex therapy can help couples (and individuals) embrace their most fulfilling sex life—even when there's no specific "problem" that needs solving.
Think about how many transitions and experiences we go through in our adult lives: dating, breakups, infidelity, traumatic events, fertility challenges, pregnancies, postpartum recovery, health crises, natural aging, and beyond. Each of these moments has potential to interfere with our connection to our sexual selves and with our sexual partners.
With the guidance of Kasey Holyfield, LPC, a specialized sex therapist, when any of the above-mentioned moments comes to fruition, folks may be better adept at processing and then proceeding in such a way that avoids negative interference with the relationship. While the guidance of a skilled therapist is a valuable resource in times of crisis, it is really best utilized during more stable times in our lives when we can benefit from a more grounded examination of our challenges and potential.
In addition to helping folks navigate life’s big moments and their impact on us, sexually speaking, the benefits of sex therapy are particularly pronounced for cultivating an authentic and realistic understanding of sex and pleasure—which is something many people don't have. Most of us don’t receive sex-positive explicit sex education. Too often, couples get caught up in scripted sex or sex that doesn’t feel worth having. Sex therapy gets back to the basics of giving and receiving pleasure.
Is sex therapy just for couples?
Sex therapy can be just as beneficial for individuals as it can for couples. Sex therapists work with individuals, couples, triads, quads, and groups, caveating that it's the individuals who put in the most dedicated work with a sex therapist who benefit most. Understanding your libido and your sexuality is a part of understanding yourself, which is a big piece of any form of psychotherapy.
Do I need sex therapy?
Sex therapy is a type of talk therapy that’s designed to help individuals and couples address medical, psychological, personal, or interpersonal factors impacting sexual satisfaction. The goal of sex therapy is to help people move past physical and emotional challenges to have a satisfying relationship and pleasurable sex life. Sexual disfunction is common. In fact, 43% of women and 31% of men report experiencing some type of sexual dysfunction during their lifetimes. These dysfunctions may include:
- low libido
- lack of interest
- premature ejaculation
- erectile dysfunction
- low confidence
- lack of response to sexual stimulus
- inability to reach orgasm
- excessive libido
- inability to control sexual behavior
- distressing sexual thoughts
- unwanted sexual fetishes
A fulfilling sex life is healthy and natural. Physical and emotional intimacy are essential parts of your well-being. When sexual dysfunction occurs, having that fulfilling sex life can be difficult. Sex therapy may be able to help you reframe your sexual challenges and increase your sexual satisfaction.
Types of Sex Therapy
Talk therapy
Sensate Focus
Sensate Focus
Talk therapy is the primary method of sex therapy. Couples can expect to work on their general communication skills, explain the points of sensitivity that they've discovered in regard to sex in the past, and even expand on their knowledge of sex education by exploring:
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
- Couples therapy
- Mindfulness practices
- Interpersonal psychotherapy
- Psychodynamic Therapy
- Psychoeducation around sexual health
Sensate Focus
Sensate Focus
Sensate Focus
Sensate Focus is a behavioral form of sex therapy that hones in on the details of a couple's relationship, and then has them complete behavioral exercises. This can involve homework assignments that prompt couples to focus on physical interactions that they enjoy without the pressure of penetrative sex.
This type of therapy typically also asks couples to take any sexual acts that might be causing anxiety off the table for a period of time. The goal is to enhance the way the couple experiences intimacy, and to help them build on that by working through any preexisting issues.